Thanks to J.J. Cooper of AOL Fanhouse for putting this together. Me doing these roundtables with J.J. and Ryan Wilson of FanHouse and Heels, Sox and Steelers is like Daughtry touring with Led Zeppelin and Metallica. It’s fun being the assistant quality control coach to their GM and head coach.

Anyway, here it is:
Thanks to the miracle that is the Internet, JJ Cooper (of FanHouse), Ryan Wilson (of FanHouse and Heels, Sox and Steelers) and Neal Coolong (of DieHard Steel) were able to spout off to each other about the Steelers’ first-round pick, Rashard Mendenhall.

JJ Cooper: Ughh overall the NFL Network coverage is good, but Brian Billick being there is bad

Ryan Wilson: He is dreadful. i mean, the guy’s found the cure for insomnia.

JJ: Mike Mayock keeps picking every pick right

Ryan: that guy’s a freaking genius.

JJ: (after Gosder Cherlius goes to the Lions): well…it’s Otah or Uh-Oh

Ryan: I don’t think i’ll feel very good about that.

JJ: I think trading down sounds great

Ryan: true that.

Ryan: (as the Steelers go on the clock) What do you think, mendenhall? If so, how long until FWP starts crying like Tommy Maddox in ‘04?

Neal Coolong: (as the Steelers go on the clock, at the same time as Wilson): Thomas or Mendenhall??It’s gonna be the one Dallas doesn’t take!

Cooper: Balmer or Thomas. No Mendenhall — he’s another Willie Parker

Neal: He’s bigger, though.

JJ: But he’s not a true power back. The anticipation is killing me.

As the pick is announced.
JJ: I’m sick. Well sick may be a little strong, but we need an OG…we need a C…we need a DE…we need a S…we need a CB….RB is a luxury.. And we have a back on our roster right now that rushed for 1,500+yards two years ago.

Ryan: i don’t know jack about him, any reason you hate him other than he’s a RB?

JJ: He’s a Big 10 back

Ryan: Oh, right.  ugh.
JJ: Mendenhall seems like a good value pick, but he doesn’t fit our needs

Ryan: yeah. i hate the pick on principle, but i can’t get too worked up about it considering how everything else played out in front of them.

Neal: He’s by far the best player on the board. That same back you’re talking about had 321 carries before he broke his leg with two games left.He’s the best player available, and there’s no way he should have fallen that far

JJ: True…but there is depth at RB in this draft. A second or third round pick would be able to step in and be a solid No. 2 RB.Now you have controversy–who’s the No. 1 back….you have them competing for carries

Neal: I WANT them competing for carries! That means one of them doesn’t have to get their leg broken on the second carry of the game (edit: I was trying to provide a dramatic example of what happens when a back is given the ball 25 times a game over the course of the season)

Ryan: so what’s worse: mendenhall or timmons? i’m going with timmons because there were options.

JJ: Mendenhall’s a better player so I’ll say Timmons

Ryan: I’m with you; Timmons was a reach. I don’t care what Tomlin says. Mendenhall, I mean, what the hell are you going to do? Plus, it looks like WRs will be around forever now.

JJ: But now we have a need that will go unfilled

Ryan: If nothing else, FWP can stay away from the Curse of 370.

Cedrick Wilson probably had a five percent chance of making the team in 2008 anyway. The Steelers gave WR Nate Washington a $1.4 million tender offer for this season. It’s fight or flight time for the potentially outstanding receiver.

Here’s my latest on Real Football 365 

I woke up this morning, somewhat delirious from the aftershock of what’s being called the “Refinance Boom” that has me working 12 hour days. I added the filter, and two saving scoops of Caribou Coffee, and as I chugged a glass of orange juice, I honestly needed to stop for a second to realize that today is February 5.

Two years ago today, the Pittsburgh Steelers - OUR Pittsburgh Steelers - won Super Bowl XL.

Since I never got the chance to post this anywhere (long story), I always saved it with the idea that I wanted to get it out somewhere for people to read, and this seems like a good place to do that.

So the following was written on Feb. 6, 2006:
From the movie “Major League”:
“…And the Indians win it! The Indians win it! Oh my God, the Indians WIN IT!”

The Shot Heard ‘Round The World:
“The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!”

From the movie “Hoosiers”:
“SWISH!” (Hickory defeats highly-favored South Bend Central with a Jimmy Chitwood 15-footer at the buzzer.)

Is Pittsburgh’s 21-10 win over Seattle in Super Bowl XL as dramatic as these games? No. Probably not as good, either (or even close to as good). But I’ve watched these movies and heard these lines countless times, and after every single time, I thought to myself what I would do if Pittsburgh won a Super Bowl. Would I rush the field like in Major League? Would I weep for joy like Barbara Hershey in Hoosiers?

Up until Feb. 5, 2006, I didn’t think I ever had to worry about it.  I never really thought it was going to happen. A team based on heart, toughness and determination proved me wrong Feb. 5 – and I’ll never forget it. Even if I did bang my head on a table after falling over when Antwaan Randle-El hit Hines Ward for the difference-making touchdown.

The only sentence I was able to say after the final gun sounded was “we won the Super Bowl!” The Starting Gate Bar in St. Paul chanted “COW-ER! COW-ER! COW-ER!” Then “WHO RIDE? WE RIDE!” as led by SteelersBro. Champagne stung our eyes, hugs flew everywhere, some guy even gave me $10 after he spilt my $3 beer on the table.

I have never sustained a yell longer than I did after Jerramy Stevens dropped yet another pass on that final 4th down. The lack of oxygen and completely overtaxed lungs forced me to sit down for a bit. I didn’t see the final snap. I didn’t see Bill Cowher get doused with Gatorade. Maybe I had just seen these things in my dreams for so long, I ruined the suspense for myself.

But what I did see is the most bittersweet moment a Steelers fan will ever have. The Bus, the most popular player – and one of the best players – in Steelers history, announce the rumor that everyone already knew. Detroit was the final bus stop.

As I sat there in silent and unaccepted celebration, a man wearing a Polamalu jersey and a kid wearing a Bettis jersey patted me on the back when they walked through the door.

The kid was around 11-years-old. Eleven! Just as I didn’t get to celebrate the Steelers previous four championships, this kid missed The Bus in his prime.

I was actually RIDING the bus to school when the soon-to-be-named Bus was traded to Pittsburgh. I had a walkman and KFAN radio in Minneapolis announced that Jerome Bettis and a third-round pick had been traded from the Los Angeles Rams to the Pittsburgh Steelers for a second-round and a fourth round pick.
The 10th overall pick out of Notre Dame was more fullback than halfback, but with quick feet and a harder head than Rocky Balboa’s, people everywhere couldn’t help but think this deal was heavily tilted in favor of Pittsburgh.

It wasn’t long before Bettis became as Pittsburgh as Primanti’s. Fans started imitating Bus’s dance after a big run (or maybe just me, I dunno). Engraved in our minds is the massive width between his legs when he gets the hand-off, that classic barrel roll he does to gain a yard and how difficult it was to knock him for a loss.

He went to enough Pro Bowls and bowled over enough would-be tacklers to earn a spot of immortality in Steel City by the time his first AFC title game loss (vs. Denver) came. He rushed for 1,665 yards that year, but not enough to move on.

I had a Myron Cope sound byte of a run he had that season as my computer’s start up notification my freshman year of college.

“…TOUCH-DAHNN!!! TOUCH-DAHNN!!! TOCHDAHNN STILERS! JER-OME BETTIS! AND THIS PLACE IS GOING BERZERK!”

Gives me goosebumps just remembering Cope’s thick Pittsburgh accent completely losing control of any emotion on the air. But that’s what Bettis did back then. Not to say he wasn’t capable of this now, but with his impending retirement over the last three seasons, everything had a much more somber air around it. It wasn’t the same feeling you got when he and the offensive line were running down hill, just preying on small defensive backs in the open field much like Ashley Ambrose of the Bengals in 2001 (if you don’t remember that, it was the camera shot of Bettis running toward you, Ambrose got in Bettis’ path and was leveled like a shopping cart in front of a semi).

There was the “emergence” of Amos Zereoue, and how he filled in for the injured Bettis in 2001 – which would have been Bus’s best season as a pro had he not missed the last five games of the regular season. The cortisone shot that went awry. The Patriots upset.

In this time, Bettis started feeling all those carries. He and everyone else on the Steelers except for Joey Porter flat-out sucked in 2003. There were calls for his retirement. They restructured his deal giving him less money. You could tell if Pittsburgh didn’t win in 2004, Bettis was either going to follow Franco Harris and retire in some other jersey or just retire with that sour taste in all our mouths.

As soon as the slide started, it ended. Bus runs for the most inspiring 1,000 yards and 13 touchdowns in the history of the game (973 yards, but who’s counting?) while replacing Deactivated Duce Staley. Falling short again in ‘04, 2005 was the last year. He would retire a legendary Steeler, or a legendary running back. That ring is the difference between the two.

And we did it. We won the Super Bowl.

I thought of all of this when I saw that kid wearing Bettis’ jersey. We’ve got the mandatory five years until he’s elected into Canton. Maybe another two after that to start officially calling his jersey a throwback. A lifetime of Ambrose-like highlights. Those halfback passes, those fights with Ray Lewis.

But no more Bus. He can be Jerome, as he begins a sure-fire great broadcasting career on NBC. We’ll see a few more pictures of the Bus holding up the Lombardi Trophy, soaked in sweat and champagne as confetti is strewn about those shoulders that carried the morale of this franchise for the last 10 years.

We’ll think of all that and say, “whine all you want about poor officiating. The Bus took what’s his.”

And no one can take that away from him or from SteelerNation.

Maybe that 11-year-old kid with the Bettis jersey will be in the same position I was in 2016 for Super Bowl…uh…whatever 50 would be. Maybe he’ll be crouched over, clutching his never-washed Terrible Towel, trying to let the idea of his biggest hope coming true turn into reality. Maybe he’ll see a kid with a Ben Roethlisberger jersey or a Troy Polamalu jersey and feel that same bit of pride. Not the pride of winning the Super Bowl. The pride of knowing he was able to watch one of the greatest players in the game retire a champion.

And maybe, like me, the only thing he’ll be able to say is “We won the Super Bowl!”

Calling him Jonathon Moxon might not be appropriate, but now that Two-Time All-State Quarterback Lance Harbor is down, the Steelers are collectively pulling a Bud Kilmer. They are no longer smacking T Max Starks upside the head with a whistle, they’re just saying “We believe in you.”

I won’t duck it, I lost faith in T Max Starks earlier this year. Against Green Bay in the preseason (yes, preseason), the team’s incumbent right tackle took a few series on the left side in place of Marvel Smith, and Aaron Kampman made Starks look like he was moving in sand.

It wasn’t pretty.

Now, Smith will miss Sunday’s regular season finale, and could miss the playoffs as well with an ailing back. Starks filled in for Smith on the left side admirably in Week 16 against St. Louis, and with that, stuck it to a lot of people who wrote him off.

Like the movie “Varsity Blues,” where local coaching iconoclast Bud Kilmer hated back-up QB Jonathon Moxon, he quickly (if not falsely) pulled a 180 and told Mox he believed in him after town hero Lance Harbor went down. Whether we liked Starks before or not, we’re lovin’ him now.

Starks is an unrestricted free agent after this season, so to be blunt, it’s a great time for Starks to be playing. No disrespect to Smith, and not to suggest Starks is motivated solely by money, but hey, the fact is, he’s got a lot riding on this.

This is the same Max Starks who started for the Steelers on the right side in Super Bowl XL, and by the end of training camp in 2007, was benched in favor of second-year tackle Willie Colon.

Colon hasn’t exactly been drawing rave reviews. He’s drawing flags, but little more than that. Smith hasn’t been any better, and the fact a back injury was revealed this week isn’t the least bit surprising.

Steelers coach Mike Tomlin said Smith isn’t likely to play Sunday (Dale Lolley says he’s out), and “it’s a possibility” that he won’t be available for the playoffs. Smith is one of the better tackles in the game, and if getting him on the field means a similar performance to the one he had against Jacksonville in Week 15, he’s about the last man the Steelers can afford to put out there. Clearly injured, Starks looked like a passing cone, and blocked about as well as one, too.

Starks, on the other hand, is the only one wearing black and gold who is relishing Smith’s absence (strictly in a professional sense). His performance against the Rams (teams don’t seem to care about the ability of an opponent, if you beat them, you beat them, and you deserve a contract. Just ask Super Bowl XXXVII MVP Dexter Jackson) probably earned him a nice extension, but if he can perform again against even the banged-up Ravens defense, he can add another few numbers to that seven-figure total value of his next deal.

Strangely, while the Steelers weren’t all that likely to re-sign him, we are collectively hoping he can play well enough to jack that rate up as much as humanly possible. The Steelers will play their starters as long as the game is still in question, as they need a win and a San Diego loss to nail down the crucial No. 3 seed in the AFC playoff race.

So in the same vein as what Bud Kilmer said, let’s quote Rod Tidwell after Frank Cushman ditches Jerry Maguire:

“You’re lovin’ me NOW, aren’t you?”

Very much.

Neal Coolong is the author of Die Hard Steel for Sports Cartel, and is a contributor to Steel City Insider and Real Football 365.

Baltimore will likely be throwing rookie QB Troy Smith under center for his second career start Sunday in Week 17. The Steelers have already faced John Beck of Miami in his second career start, and just like the other nine QBs in the last two years, his second start wasn’t all that great. Those nine QBs are a combined 1-8.

It doesn’t help that Willis McGahee is out with two broken ribs, just the latest Raven to go down. All told, Baltimore will possibly be without seven starters and four key back-ups.

Will the One For The Sweep be the easiest of the Steelers’ six AFC North games this year? Read Real Football 365.

A loss to the Patriots and the loss of DE Aaron Smith for the year to a torn biceps muscle does not end the season. I go over this in part in my column on Real Football 365, so check it out if you feel inclined to do so.

SteelersLive editor and Black and Gold Radio host Chris Kucharski had the moron who writes this site on for a post-game wrap up last night. Feel free to give it a listen, provided that you acknowledge the following:

It was 11:30 p.m., so I might have been a bit more drawn out than your average radio guest.

SteelerBro is the voice-over talent of the family, not me.

Other than that, though, Chris does a great job as a host, and SteelersLive is a fantastic site run through the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. It’s a great forum for interaction with other Steelers fans from across the country, so check it out!

I had a chance to finally get to that email exchange he wanted to do with Cotter, the author of One For The Other Thumb. As I prepare for the blizzard coming through the greater Twin Cities area, Cotter and I talk about Chris Henry’s possible arrest, Gozer the Destructor, and Wine Stands. His site is very funny, and is highly recommended. It, along with the others goodly enough to put up with my email exchanges, is linked to this page.

Neal:
Cotter, I’m worried about Sunday. Really, I  am. I wasn’t proclaiming Tennessee as the only team capable of  stopping New England or anything, but Cincinnati beat the tar out of  them last week. I thought their offensive game plan was fantastic;  Palmer is a great deep quarterback, but he played within himself, and  simply completed passes all game long. Touchdowns will eventually come  from that, because there aren’t too many teams (if any) with more  ability to score inside the 20 through the air the way the Bengals are  with Chad, Housh and Henry.

It isn’t looking great that Polamalu will  play, and obviously that’s a hit. How do you figure Pittsburgh can get  enough pressure on Palmer to force the interceptions needed to win  that game? Do the Steelers just drop seven guys back all game? 

Cotter:
Honestly, the Steelers purist in me does think we need to  bring pressure in lieu of trying to cover the big three all day. However, I  recognize it might not be that simple. Cincy’s only allowed Palmer to be  sacked 15 times total on the season (to Big Ben’s 35 times), and in our last  meeting we registered a whole ZERO sacks on him. Plus, Palmer gets the ball  out quick (unlike some other QBs we know). So I guess we don’t really have  much choice but to let our line work and hope our DBs can handle those guys.  I think it’ll be up to Silverback and maybe Farrior to get some penetration  and force Palmer to make bad decisions.

The addition of Chris Henry  is really going to sting us. Not just because it’s another man to cover. But  also because Henry KILLED us last year. I’m sure you saw my comment on your  Chad Johnson player spotlight earlier. In our two games last season against  the Bungles, Henry broke free for 193 yards and 3 touchdowns. We’re  basically tasked with covering 3 pro bowl caliber wideouts at the same time,  all game. Any way you slice it, ain’t gonna be easy. Sounds to me like  Tyrone Carter and Anthony Smith are going to have to help out a lot more  than usual.

Neal:
Henry was the one  who caught Palmer’s big pass in the playoff game. Palmer’s last pass of  the game - (AHEM)

He’s a big play  threat, and most teams don’t have the luxury of that big of a playmaker at  the No. 3 receiver position. It’s tough with Palmer under center  too.
 
The defensive  stat of the game is going to read something like this Sunday night:  Willie Parker, 26 carries, 135 yards, 1 TD. Parker is the key to the Bengals  games. if he runs well, Pittsburgh holds the ball, and Cincy’s offense  isn’t a factor. He usually has an outstanding game, and if the Steelers  are able to own the clock, and keep Palmer et. al off the field, their  offense is going to be successful enough to get a lead and squeeze  it.
 
Another scary  point about the Bengals: They always make you pay for turnovers. They make  the Steelers pay, anyway. In their first game, the Steelers were  beating the snot out of them in every phase of the game. Just like that,  Roethlisberger throws a stupid pick, and Cincinnati all of a sudden has a  puncher’s chance in the early part of the fourth quarter. The Steelers had  to do a lot just to protect an impressive-looking lead. 

This game is all about possession.  Two or more turnovers, I have a hard time seeing the Steelers winning. 
 
Cleveland is at Arizona. It’s on  before the Steelers and Bengals kick off for Sunday Night Football. Two  questions associated with this: One, can coach Whiz help out his former  team? Win or lose, Pittsburgh needs a Cleveland loss. Two, who sings the  Sunday Night Football theme song - the one that’s basically a new adaptation  of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts’ “I Hate Myself for Lovin’ You.” I could  have sworn it was Pink, but my fiance says without a doubt it’s Faith Hill. 
 
Little help  here…

Cotter:
Yeah, our only hope with respect to Henry is that he gets arrested  before he gets to Heinz Field, which probably isn’t out of the  question…

Anyways, RE: Arizona over Cleveland. I think that’s a tough  one. The Cards just lost standout Safety Adrian Wilson and starting Corner  Eric Green for the season. And seeing as how the Brownies are suddenly a  passing juggernaut (or so ESPN tells me),  that doesn’t exactly bode well  for the Cards. Then again, Edgerrin James, Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald,  Anquan Boldin, Bryant Johnson = plenty of offense, and we all know Cleveland  plays defense about as well as Tommy Maddox plays QB. So it’s definitely  possible. If I had to call it right now I’d say Cleveland wins this one.  Still, I thought long and hard about picking the Cards in my pick ‘em pool.

As for your other question I believe the answer is - Last year it was  Pink, this year it’s Faith Hill, and now I’m gonna go kill myself for knowing  the answer to that.

Neal:
They sound  the like the freaking same person! The only difference is whomever is singing  that song this year (you say Faith Hill), they didn’t dress Hill up to  look like Gozer reincarnate from Ghostbusters.
 
Seems  unfair to Pink. Yet, I digress.

Cotter:
Gozer, wow, 10 points for the obscure Ghostbusters reference. Bonus. I’m gonna say ouch for Pink. By the way, I’m not sure if this is a coincidence or not, but that’s the 2nd time this week  Gozer has come into conversation for me. My buddy Big Phil (Jets fan…booo) has it on his Facebook profile…or is it Myspace…what’s the difference really?

PS - When do I get to start asking the questions?

(now)

my initial questions are as follows:
1. If you could keep only one current Steeler, who would you want and why?
2. If you could erase one player from the league no questions asked, who would it be and why?
3. Jon Kitna or Jeff Garcia? Who would you choose as your field general?
4. Bengals cheerleaders, Ravens cheerleaders or Donovan McNabb’s mom? (Don’t worry, I won’t tell your fiancée)
5. If rabbits eat lettuce and snakes eat rabbits, what color are my eyes?

6. If/when you have a child, would you consider naming it Troy Polamalu Coolong?

Neal:
(To Fiancee) “Honey! Hey, I’m sorry, but I can’t make it to that reception hall you want to look at tonight! Something came up, I just got the best list of questions to answer I’ve had in-…yes! Of course it’s for the blog!…what? Oh, stop, you’re not going to pawn the ring…Hey! That’s below the belt! No, the blog won’t pay for the reception, but I’m working really hard, and it MIGHT be able to buy that box of Franzia wine you like so much! This is NOT the final straw! Where are you going?”
 
1. If you could keep only one current Steeler, who would you want and why?
 
Probably Max Starks. There isn’t a better demoted right tackle/emergency left tackle/3rd in the 3-TE set in the entire organization.
 
2. If you could erase one player from the league no questions asked, who would it be and why?
 
Ray Lewis. Fair’s fair, he helped erase someone without having to answer too many questions.
 
Why? Oh, I dunno…the pile-jumping, the misleading tackle statistics (not an official stat), the obsessed hero-worship from the national media, the credence given from seven years ago, the trash-talking on his radio show, his radio show, the ruining of Mike Webster’s No. 52, how he is figuratively and literally above the law, and I really hate that pre-game dance he does.
 
3. Jon Kitna or Jeff Garcia? Who would you choose as your field general?
 
Here’s a Public Relations nightmare. The QB who dresses as a naked man for Halloween or the QB everyone thinks is gay. Season tickets are just gonna roll in when this choice is made!
 
I dunno…gimme Kitna, with explicit verbiage in his contract that forbids him wearing any kind of costume, ever. Contract is null and void if he ever dresses up like Jeff Garcia. Or wears his hair like Aaron Rodgers.

4. Bengals cheerleaders, Ravens cheerleaders or Donovan McNabb’s mom? (Don’t worry, I won’t tell your fiancée)
 
The Hags of the Queen City vs. the Bimbos of Baltimore, or the mother of the guy who is replacing A.J. Feely in Philly…I’m sure the birth control flows like wine around those respective locker rooms. Eh, well, probably better than the cheerleaders in Oakland.

5. If rabbits eat lettuce and snakes eat rabbits, what color are my eyes?

Well, judging by your girlfriend’s comments on your site, whatever Jeff Reed’s are, I suppose.

6. If/when you have a child, would you consider naming it Troy Polamalu Coolong?

It was decided, after the Steelers dramatic victory over Indianapolis in the 2006 AFC Divisional game, my first child will be named Troy William Cowher Coolong. Even if it’s a girl.

Cotter:
Reception halls…wow, that would probably make me want to stab myself in the eye with a fork (Kidding). But of course it’s a necessary evil. My take on that whole thing is when I get engaged I want my fiancée to do all that shit for me. I just want final say. 10 bucks says that sort of deal won’t fly…can’t put my finger on exactly why…

Anyways, in case it’s moderately interesting, here’s how I’d answer those same ?’s:

1. If you could keep only one current Steeler, who would you want and why?
I don’t want any of them, they all suck. Just kidding. I would probably say Greg Warren. You never know when you’re going to need a good long snapper.

2. If you could erase one player from the league no questions asked, who would it be and why?
In the past, I’d have said Peyton Manning because I grew really tired of listening to the commentators worship him like he pissed gold. But I’ve come to realize if it wasn’t him it’d be Tom Brady (like this year) or Tony Romo (also this year) or Brett Favre (who I actually happen to really like), etc. etc. So I think I’d do us all a favor and get rid of either David Carr or Joey Harrington, or both. Not like anyone would miss them…

3. Jon Kitna or Jeff Garcia? Who would you choose as your field general?
AJ Feeley.

4. Bengals cheerleaders, Ravens cheerleaders or Donovan McNabb’s mom? (Don’t worry, I won’t tell your fiancée)
You know I’ve always said I wanted a girl from Cincinnati. Oh wait, that’s not right. I choose none of the above. My question, my rules.

5. If rabbits eat lettuce and snakes eat rabbits, what color are my eyes?
Evil.

6. If/when you have a child, would you consider naming it Troy Polamalu Cotter?
Fast Benjamin Silverback Cotter. How’s that?

PS – If you have a girl I’d strongly consider naming it Sean Mahan Coolong. Seeing as how he’s the biggest vagina currently on the team, I think that’d be appropriate.

PPS – Tell your fiancée the best way to drink Franzia is to take the bag out of the box and have a friend hold it over your head and pour it into your mouth. In college my friends and I used to call this a wine stand. You know, like a keg stand but with boxed wine…yeah, in college I was dumb. Wait, still am…shit.

I’m sure Joe Starkey would hate me.

I’m the post-modern Steelers fan. I was like two minutes old when Jack Lambert played. I lived in Butler for a period of time, but did the bulk of my growin’ up in the suburbs of Minneapolis, home of the Metrodome and bitter Vikings fans.

Monday Night’s game, to me, was not old school football. It wasn’t a testament to the elements. It wasn’t even enjoyable.

It was an ugly game. Period. It was ugly to watch, I would venture a bet that it was awful to play. Even moreso, I bet the replay of it on film was the worst for Coach Tomlin and his staff.

Perhaps someone from the more enlightened era of pro sports - the time when the weather ruled the product on the field, the same days that would have made Monday’s disaster-like conditions look like 72 and sunny - can explain to me what is so endearing about watching offensive linemen not be able to pick up their feet (it remains to be seen whether or not the weather affected Max Starks). I must be missing it, someone fill me in; what makes watching a game in nothing but mud and water so much better than on an even, playable surface?

I’m not suggesting to cover the top of Heinz Field with nylon like the Homer Dome. I have no problem at all with natural grass. I hated watching Monday’s game. I didn’t like the other rain-consumed game Pittsburgh and Miami played, in September of 2004.

Why? It’s really very simple. The quality of the game suffered greatly. There is no way anyone can convince anyone else that, on an even track, the Steelers need 59 minutes and 43 seconds to score (the game’s only points) on the Dolphins. The fact they didn’t clearly had everything to do with the weather.

I didn’t want to have to pull rank on  you, but having lived in Minnesota for the vast majority of my life, I can confidently say I’ve been through far worse weather situations than people in Pittsuburgh. Mr. Starkey slings some rhetorical questions our way in his column on this subject, such as whether or not they should have played the Ice Bowl at Lambeau Field in 1967.

In Green Bay and Minnesota, describing the conditions of that day is usually far less dramatic than the media (or just NFL Films) choose to use. We call days like that “Sunday.” Maybe “Monday.” Or, if we want to be all encompassing, “January.”

If you have lived consistently in that weather element, you wouldn’t think a dome is a terrible idea.

Pittsburgh should not have a dome. Certainly, no one is suggesting it should. But it’s a tad annoying to hear people in that area preach about weather conditions, and try to justify disasters (not anyone’s fault it rained a lot, mind you, Heinz Field would have been a mess, new sod or not) like Monday’s game by saying “That’s real football,” or “playing inside is for wimps.”

For an area that defines “cold” as 16 degrees, or three inches of snow as a “storm,” Monday’s game doesn’t really justify toughness, nor does it justify the need for an enclosed playing atmosphere.

My cousin took me to a game at Heinz Field for my birthday, and it was an absolutely gorgeous night. Certainly no need for a dome. Let’s say that it’s Dec. 29, would I particularly want to watch football outside? No, no way and no how. It’s too cold, and the quality of play goes down too much. I really don’t understand why people think football is better and is more enjoyable to watch in these conditions.

Sadly, this already has occurred in places such as Minnesota, where indoor football should be illegal. The Vikings built a proud tradition — and embodied the rugged personality of their state — at icy Metropolitan Stadium.

They now play in an oversize(d) family room called the Metrodome.

I honestly don’t know Mr. Starkey’s background, but I’ll assume he’s been to the Metrodome. No doubt, a terrible venue. A relic from a time where governmental spending was dictated by the law bigger is better. However, anyone who has been outside in January in Minnesota knows there’s nothing filling you with pride. It’s November 29, and it’s something close to three degrees outside. January? You’re lucky if the mercury gets above zero.

Not more fun. Not better to watch. Lately, it takes quite a bit to get the Metrodome sold out anyway, regardless of the dome.

Let’s just take Monday’s win for what it was. A win in conditions bad enough to make two teams clearly moving in different directions roughly on the same ground (pun intended). There was nothing poetic about it.

Cotter has a run-down of some Steelers players’ thoughts on Ol’ No. 55, bringing about the last we’ll hear pre-game about J-Peezy and his Boot.

As a side note, Cotter chides the readers who - like myself - didn’t read Friday’s post on Friday. He should have. His site is a must-read each day.

Anyway…Porter has had exactly one-and-a-half chances this year to break out his Boot - his celebration kick when he sacks the quarterback. It’s clear Porter would have rather stayed in Pittsburgh, but had to follow the money, because the winless Miami Dolphins have the only front office stupid enough to pay him as much as they did. Clearly, no one in Pittsburgh is upset anymore over his replacement, Silverback (he’s got a shot at the Pro Bowl), but there is definitely a nostalgic air around Peezy. All season, I have missed seeing him pace up and down the 45-yard-line during warm-ups like a caged animal, abs exposed, barking at the opposing team. It got commonplace, probably to the point it wasn’t even intimidating anymore for Pittsburgh’s opposition, but it was like a pre-game ritual. The game couldn’t start until Peezy tried to pick a fight with the opponent’s resident hot head.

I wonder if the opposite reaction won’t occur tonight, and even moreso, I wonder which Steeler will be the one barking back.

My bet would obviously be Larry Foote, with a steady dose of Tyrone Carter. It will make for great TV if it’s Harrison, though.

Cooper vs. Wexell on grading the offensive line

Steel City Insider writer Jim Wexell wrote a piece (exclusive content) late last week, defending C Sean Mahan, even saying it was his best game.

AOL’s JJ Cooper writes a piece every week, grading the offensive line’s performance in the last game.

It’s unclear if Cooper was fired up by the fact Wexell referred to Cooper’s column, even calling him JJ Wilson (tongue-in-cheek?), but his evaluation of Mahan did not produce the same results.

With that in mind I paid special attention to Mahan in rewatching the game. What I found was that he was as bad as I had thought the first time. He simply isn’t strong enough to generate any push in the running game if he’s facing an adequate nose tackle. The Steelers, maybe because they’ve been spoiled by good center play, are not a team that does a lot of double-teaming nose tackles. The center is expected to handle him. What we saw last Sunday is Mahan isn’t up to that task.

Cooper respectfully disagreed with Wexell’s assessment, but both made valid points. Is Mahan just not big enough to handle a NT the size of Dewayne Robertson? The offensive line is as much a unit as that CBS TV show that bears that name.

Watching the game again, it seemed to me that Mahan did get beat up a little bit, and it was noticeable. However, throwing a bone to Wexell, blaming Mahan for Robertson’s huge game is misplaced; Mahan wasn’t the only one blocking him. But it wasn’t just pass protection in which Mahan struggled.

Blame whomever you want, the fact is, the Steelers lost a pivotal AFC game they had no business losing. With Cleveland catching fire ever since Pittsburgh beat them for the second time (as Dale Lolley points out, the Browns are 7-2 against teams not in Pittsburgh), this playoff race - not just the division race - is much closer than we might want to admit.

Speaking of which…

Browns win again, Pittsburgh’s comfort zone much smaller

Soldier had 10 catches against Houston Sunday, leading the Browns to a 27-17 win. They now stand at 7-4, having won six of their last eight games. Their only two losses are to New England and Pittsburgh. Their win Sunday forces Pittsburgh into a must-win situation tonight against the Dolphins.

Cleveland does not play a team over .500 for the rest of the season.

Jacksonville beat up on Buffalo, putting them at 8-3, and holding down the first Wild Card spot. Jacksonville has a huge game against Indianapolis next week, and winning that would put both teams at 9-3. So Pittsburgh has a 1-game lead on Cleveland for the division, 1.5 really, when you factor in the tie-breaker. But that 1-game lead exists for the final Wild Card spot as well. The Steelers still have the suddenly human Patriots and red-hot Jags still on the schedule, not to mention grudge matches with the Bengals (looked impressive yesterday) and Ravens (did not look impressive yesterday, but are still the Steelers chief rivals, and haven’t been swept by the Steelers since 2002).

Feel somewhat suffocated yet? The Steelers also play the emerging and somewhat healthy Rams, yet another team with nothing to play for, and every reason in the world to want to knock off a division leader. They would have beaten the NFC West leading Seahawks had back-up QB Gus Frerotte hadn’t forgotten how to throw the ball (totally biffed a would-be touchdown pass to Isaac Bruce) or handle a snap from center (4th and goal, game on the line, he fumbled, ending the game).

Ya gotta love the NFL…It wasn’t long ago Pittsburgh was all but given the AFC North title, and was playing for the No. 2 seed in the AFC playoffs. They still lead the division, as this isn’t a harbinger of doom or anything. But they are also playing just to qualify for a spot in the extremely competitive AFC post-season.

The way the AFC is shaping up, 11-5 might just be enough to get the last Wild Card spot.

Back to Mahan

Jay over at Blitzburgh Report thinks Mahan just isn’t cutting it.

It is an interesting perspective, though. He’s saying former Steelers coach Bill Cowher was a players coach, and was loyal to them “to a fault.” I’ve been hearing a lot of conversation as to why the Steelers picked up Darnell Stapleton off the Practice Squad, as one of the two replacements for FS Ryan Clark and TE Jerame Tuman. My guess would be to light a fire under Mahan’s ass, but at the same time, there’s no way a guy on the fringe of being out of the league could come in and do Mahan’s job.

Strangely, though, with all the talk about Stapleton and Mahan, no one has mentioned Chukky Okobi’s release from the team. An argument can now be made about how he shouldn’t have been cut. I wont make that argument, but I bet there are some who would take a crack at it. Mahan is listed at 301, and Stapleton at 285. Maybe it’s just that he hides his weight well in black, but Mahan doesn’t look like a 300-pounder in uniform, certainly not next to legit three bill guys like Faneca and Simmons.

The center position isn’t necessarily overlooked by teams, but it’s obvious when a team doesn’t have a good one. Similarly to how Tom Brady and Peyton Manning completely destroy the QB Curve in the NFL, having guys like Dermontti Dawson and Jeff Hartings make a competant player like Mahan pale in comparison. Hartings was a multiple Pro Bowler, and Dawson damn well better be in the Hall of Fame. Mahan has played well, he’s just perhaps not at the level of his predesessors.

Who else in the league is, though? Minnesota’s Matt Birk? Chicago’s Olin Kruetz? That’s some pretty exclusive company.

More coming throughout the day…